I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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