So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
