You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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