Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
