I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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