at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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