I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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