i barfeds in our rink
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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