I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
honey bunches of taint.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
