Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
