The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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