My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
