so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
