i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
