did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
