Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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