And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
