So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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