Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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