then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
