i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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