I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
