So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
