Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
