so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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