small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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