fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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