i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
