i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
