Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish you could order shots online.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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