when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
