Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
