Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
