Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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