I puked a lego.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
