I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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