I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
