I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I supernannyed him into submission
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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