Christians are straight up FREAKS
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
