i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
