Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
