I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
