Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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