chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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