Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
