Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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