I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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