wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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