You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
