I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
